A Child's View of Divorce
1. Please spend some time alone with me, even 5 minutes of my very own time, not related to school, chores, or things like that.
2. Please don't share all your panic about money with me. I am a child, and I will try to please you. "Would we save a lot if I ate less?" might be a thought I would have.
3. Please don't talk badly about my parent who doesn't live with us, especially if I visit with him/her. I love both of you.
4. Even if you are sure my "other" parent will disappoint me, please let me learn myself. I'd like you there with a hug if I do get disappointed or have hurt feelings. Please don't say, "I told you so."
5. Please don't put me in the middle or ask me to deliver messages. The problem is between the two of you.
6. Don't try to persuade me that an absent parent loves me. I don't understand the kind of love that never makes contact.
7. Please don't call me the "man" or "woman" of the house. I still need to be a child.
8. Please trust me if once in a while I don't want to talk. Sometimes, even though you are ready, I am not.
9. Remember I am young. I might find it hard to love a stepparent without feeling disloyal to my "real" parent. Give me time.
10. Please don't tell me everything is fine. I know better. Just tell me there is a problem which you will
try to solve. I trust you!
11. Please don't react with anger when I say that I want to live with the other parent. Usually when I say it, I'm angry, hurt, or scared.
12. Please don't try to buy my love.
13. Please let me tell you what I want to tell you about my visits with my other parent. Often I'm afraid I'll hurt your feelings if I tell you I had a good time.
14. Let me put up pictures taken before the separation/divorce. That is my family history.
15. Remember, above all, I'm a child and I'm scared. I need a parent who will protect me while I grow.
Resource aqcuired from:
Banana Spilts: A School/Parent Support Program for Children of Divorce
Interact, 2009
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